#NITBAFS BAM! Responsible Journalist/ FAMOUS Ex-Ford Model trademarks #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement Acronym; Sues Jon Kyl, Stephen Colbert

#NITBAFS, or Hash-NITBAFS, or just NITBAFS: For years the trademarked weap acronym for stories of debatable credulity, stealthily stashed in the world’s most beloved reporter’s journalistic toolbox, has gone unintentionally public! The recent unlicensed use of the term (in its un-acronymed iteration) promises that NITBAFS will not only gain currency in daily use, but that the NITBAFS licensee will gain his own currency—however reluctantly—from a slew of mandatory lawsuits.

The law-abiding, tsunami-hating, world-adored journo in question (who asked not to be named) had given little thought to the ingenious, forward-thinking term he invented three decades ago, an acronym that stands for NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement, until this week's threat of potential brand dilution brought on by political comedian (and long-time personal friend) Stephen Colbert in response politically comedic Senator Jon Kyl's (R.-Az.) NITBAFS-worthy NITBAFS. The dustup occurred after Kyl remarked that "90% of Planned Parenthood activities involve abortion" when the true figure is a roughly lower fraction: one-thirtieth lower*.

Stephen Colbert -- #NotInclinedToBuyAffronted-
Friend'sStory -- continues to kill Kyl online.

Kyl's office later attempted to clarify, citing NITBAFS as the reason for Kyl's usefully partisan turn of phrase (sources reveal that the long form, and not the trademarked acronym, was used during this initial exchange; potential legal culpability is still pending).

Colbert riposted to Kyl’s boyish political prank with a series of jocose responses meant to embarrass the Senator, entertain the masses, or both. But in NITBAFSing (including all iterations) without permission, both Colbert and Kyl have entered legal hot water.

The dust-up of the dust-up is that despite wishing to avoid any legal imbroglios—especially one’s with guaranteed, out-of-court settlements expected rival the GDPs of some third-world nations—the otherwise frugal NITBAFS-owning reporter must sue any any and all parties engaged in unlicensed use of the NITBAFS term (and all iterations, certainly, probably). Under the U.S. Government's new “Kid Napster-ing Code,” the unpermitted use for gain of any trademarked intellectual property (of no less than six letters) by any American citizen over the age of five must be tried in a civil court, to a minimum redress of three-trillion dollars.

I don't know how Mr. Colbert heard
out about the Sneenis," said
factualazy Sentator Jon Kyl's wife.

“This is all just very awkward for me,” I sai The Unnamed Reporter emotionally admitted. “Of course I trademarked NITBAFS yeste 30 years ago, but I never once consider the legal implications.

“I suppose I will give what I make from this forgivable-but-legally-enforceable infringement to the homeless, or those harelip babies in Nicaragua, but it’s ugly. To sue a dear friend like my comfortably wealthy, prone-to-inappropriate scooping pal Colbert? We went to school together, you know; it’s where I introduced him to his wife, my ex-fiancée. I only hope to put this behind me as soon as I can, and get back to my job reporting on domestic and global truthiness issues.”

The injured party has agreed to show the list of Colbert remarks produced in conjunction with the NITBAFS tag. Both Kyl and Colbert could not be reached with extreme prejudice for comments. Lawyers' requests that Colbert surrender possession of the funnier of his Kyl digs to the injured party in order to reduce damages could not be verified.

A legally indefensibly brilliant sample of the truthiness
at work... play... at work-play.

*: Note: to the word-number challenged: 3%